Category Archives: Humor

Sunday Story – I want to become a runner – but I’m frightened!

I have a problem with running.  I don’t like it.  While I know that it is a great way to get and stay healthy, and even more important, to get alone time, its a tough sell for me.  In addition to just not liking the idea of running, the extra weight I’ve stored on top of my feet (namely in the butt and thigh area), is discouraging.  I don’t like walking with that extra stuff – much less running!  And I’m pretty sure that I don’t look good running either.  Here is an example:

See how this could scare the neighbors?  It’s just not right to do that, I want to be a good neighbor.  So, that leaves me with early morning or late night runs.  I use the term “runs” loosely – there would probably be too many walking breaks (also called I-think-I’m-dying-and-need-to-throw-up breaks) to call it actual running.  Please also note – I am NOT a morning person.

But on the other hand, perhaps I should just jump out of bed and head out the door…

So my current dilemma is that I don’t want to run, but I also don’t want to look like I do.  Seriously, a beached whale looks better on the beach than I do!  I have to try, and I’m really hoping that I will develop a love of running.  I know it might take a while, but getting off the couch and out the front door is probably the hardest part.  Well, I read that, but I think the hardest part will be the actual running.  And then doing it again the next day.

I’m looking for motivation, and I found a run I’d really like to do, it’s called the Color Run, and it looks like a blast!  I have a friend who is putting together a team for the Memphis run later this year and I plan to go!  Which means I have to train…  *sigh*  It all comes down to me getting my running shoes on and starting.

For the color run you just need to wear a white t-shirt, and at each kilometer you get dusted with a different color.  By the end you are full of color and more confidence!  I’m going to have to see if this jacket comes in white….

 

Check out the video of one of the Color Run 5K’s

 

Do you have an inspirational/motivational stories that would help me?  I promise to share mine along the way.

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Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read
Open to a random page
Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

This week’s teaser is from To the Nines by Janet Evanovich.  I’m really enjoying this series, it’s so funny, and I look forward to each one!  It’s definitely the brain candy type of book where you can just relax and enjoy it without having to work too hard to keep up with the story line.

This excerpt is between Lula and Stephanie – Lula has found a new diet which is supposed to make her a supermodel.

“Doughnuts are going to be a problem.  Don’t think there’s anything I can eat on a doughnut.

So, whats in the cooler?

Meat.  I got ribs and rotisserie chicken and a pound of crispy bacon.  I can eat meat until I grow a tail and moo.  This is the best diet.  I can eat things on this diet that I haven’t been able to eat in years.

Like what?

Like bacon.

You always eat bacon.

Yeah, but I feel guilty.  It’s the guilt that puts the weigh on.”

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Filed under fiction books, food, Humor, reading, Teaser Tuesdays

Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read
Open to a random page
Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

I’ve been on a Stephanie Plum kick, so this teaser is from High Five by Janet Evanovich.

“This call’s about exercise.  Um, I could use some.”

“Now?”

“No, in the morning.  I want to go running, and I’m looking for a partner.”

“You’re not looking for a partner, you’re looking for an enforcer.  You hate to run.  You must be worried about getting into that little black dress. What did you eat just now?  Piece of cake?  Candy bar?

“Everything,” I said.  “I just ate everything.”

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Thursday Thoughts

This week my daughter and her bestie are out of school – they are in a non-traditional school, so they have breaks through-out the year, and a shorter summer.  No one else on our street is out of school, so they are a little bored.  We decided to have a movie day today since we are probably going to break a heat record here today, and they don’t need another sunburn.

We started with Hop, and moved on to We Bought a Zoo (loved), and are about to start on the Mighty Macs (they are both basketball players).  We took a trip to the local Dollar store and everyone got two movie candies – including me.  Then they talked me into another one for them to share.  An hour after breakfast they are settled on the couch with 2.5 movie candies each, and a big bowl of popcorn.  After the second movie I made them stop and have a protein filled lunch to combat the sugar high.  They are both crashing as we speak.  This gives me a bit of down time, so I thought I’d write a post real quick, and get some reading done.

I’ve been trying to read Fifty Shades of Grey for almost a week now.  I’m struggling to get into it.  On the other hand I’ve read five Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich in that time frame.  I’ve decided that I must be the odd man (woman) out, because to be honest, I’d rather have Joe Morelli than Christian Grey.  At least so far.  I don’t usually have a hard time getting into books, but I’m struggling to finish Fifty Shades – it’s kind of like a relationship – if you have to force it, it’s probably not worth it.  I’m sure Mr. Grey has a different opinion.

Jason O’Mara has been cast to play Joe Morelli in the movie adaptation of One for the Money, and Matt Bomer is just how I picture Christian Grey.  Although the movie rights for Fifty Shades of Grey have been purchased, no one has been cast as Christian Grey as of yet.

Speaking of Stephanie Plum, I love the cast for this movie.  It probably wouldn’t matter so much to someone who hasn’t read the book/series, but to me these people are so close to what I imagined them to be in my mind while reading the books that I can hardly wait to go see it.  Stephanie is being played by Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara as Morelli, Daniel Sunjata as Ranger, Sherri Shepard as Lula, Debra Monk as Mrs. Plum, and Debbie Reynolds as Grandma Mazur.

These books are so funny that more often that not I wake the hubby while I’m reading them in bed at night because my laughter shakes him awake.  Here’s an excerpt from the beginning of book five, High Five.

“My mother was at the door when I pulled to the curb.  My grandmother Mazur stood elbow to elbow with my mother.  They were short slim women with facial features that suggested Mongol ancestors…probably in the form of crazed marauders.

‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ my mother said, eyeing me as I got out of the car and walked toward her.  ‘What are those shoes?  They look like work boots.’

‘Betty Szajak and Emma Getz and me went to that male dancer place last week,’ Grandma said, ‘and they had some men parading around, looking like construction workers, wearing boots just like those.  Then next thing you knew they ripped their clothes off and all they had left was those boots and these little silky black baggie things that their ding-dongs jiggled around in.’ 

My mother pressed her lips together and made the sign of the cross.  ‘You didn’t tell me about this,’ she said to my grandmother.

‘Guess it slipped my mind.  Betty and Emma and me were going to bingo at the church, but it turned out there wasn’t any bingo on account of the Knights of Columbus was holding some to-do there.  So we decided to check out the men at that new club downtown.’  Grandma gave me an elbow.  ‘I put a fiver right in one of those baggies!’

*&##^%*!’, my father said, rattling his paper in the living room.

Grandma Mazur came to live with my parents several years ago when my grandpa Mazur went to the big poker game in the sky.  My mother accepts this as a daughter’s obligation.  My father has taken to reading Guns & Ammo.”

More hilarity ensues later in this book when Grandma Mazur tries out Stephanie’s stun gun at dinner, and knocks Mr. Plum out.

For those of you not familiar with Stephanie Plum and her family, she was laid off from her position as a lingerie buyer at a local department store,  and blackmails her cousin Vinnie into giving her a job.  Vinnie is a bail bondsman, and Stephanie is now a bounty hunter, for which she is sorely unprepared.  Murphy’s law was written for Stephanie – if something can go wrong, more than likely it will go wrong for Stephanie.  Her first assignment is to track down a local detective who turns out to be Joe Morelli whom she has known since childhood.  She has a love-hate relationship with Morelli – he was her first, and afterwards she ran over him with her dad’s Buick because he was a player, not a relationship guy.  In her quest to capture Morelli and collect her fee, she absconds with his Jeep, which then gets blown up.  In later adventures she blows up half of the local funeral home, gets shot at, and makes friends with a “ho” named Lulu.  After a really bad guy leaves Lulu cut and beaten on Stephanie’s fire escape, Lulu changes careers and becomes the file clerk for Vinni’s office, and a companion for Stephanie on her bounty hunts.  As you can see from the excerpt above, Stephanie’s family is a hoot, and whenever Stephanie spends too much time with them she gets an eye twitch.  (Which many of us can empathize with.)  Stephanie says things like, “I’m not one of those people who find their stride.  My body was not designed to run.  My body was designed to sit in an expensive car and drive.”  She rationalizes pizza and donuts, wears too much makeup and big hair, paired with spandex shorts and a sports jersey.  She always gets herself into scrapes and her cars get blown up, towed, wrecked or die.  If you want a good laugh and an entertaining read, start with One for the Money and go from there.

These books, along with the Miss Julia series by Ann B. Ross, are some of the funniest books I’ve ever read!

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busybusybusylife: My Husband’s Bike Almost Killed Me

busybusybusylife: My Husband’s Bike Almost Killed Me.

 

This blog, upallnightreading, is mainly about books, reading and other bookish things.  My other blog – the one I use to vent about normal life, is busybusybusylife – the link above details my exercise this morning.  Feel free to laugh with me!

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Pronunciation – Book versus Manual

Today while watching Ellen (I was home with my sick little one), we saw the funniest thing.  There is a youtube guide called Pronunciation Book – this shows a word, and says the correct pronunciation.  I assume it’s to help people learning English, or to help English speakers with those weird little words they see and always wonder about.  Here’s an example of Pronunciation Book…

 

Funny story – when my sister was very young she used to pronounce this “Fox Paws”, and it took my mom and I a minute to figure out what she was trying to say.  I still get tickled about this, and occasionally when we are all together one of us will still say it as “fox paws”, just to get everyone to laugh.  (I’m giggling just typing this)

Ok, here’s the current funny thing – someone put a spoof channel called Pronunciation Manual on youtube, and although it’s totally a joke, if someone were to come across this instead of the Pronunciation Book, we are never going to understand them!  This cracks me up, and while there are a multitude of video pronunciations, here are a couple of my favorites…

 

 

So, if you’re finished gasping for breath and crying on your keyboard, you’re gonna have to go to youtube and check out these channels.

All I’ve got to say after 30 minutes of watching these is…..

 

 

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This is so funny!

Check out today’s (Jan 18th)  post at “Itsy Bitsy Paper Blog”.  She does some awesome crafts, and has a great sense of humor.

 

http://www.itsybitsypaperblog.com/

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