Tag Archives: High Five

Thursday Thoughts

This week my daughter and her bestie are out of school – they are in a non-traditional school, so they have breaks through-out the year, and a shorter summer.  No one else on our street is out of school, so they are a little bored.  We decided to have a movie day today since we are probably going to break a heat record here today, and they don’t need another sunburn.

We started with Hop, and moved on to We Bought a Zoo (loved), and are about to start on the Mighty Macs (they are both basketball players).  We took a trip to the local Dollar store and everyone got two movie candies – including me.  Then they talked me into another one for them to share.  An hour after breakfast they are settled on the couch with 2.5 movie candies each, and a big bowl of popcorn.  After the second movie I made them stop and have a protein filled lunch to combat the sugar high.  They are both crashing as we speak.  This gives me a bit of down time, so I thought I’d write a post real quick, and get some reading done.

I’ve been trying to read Fifty Shades of Grey for almost a week now.  I’m struggling to get into it.  On the other hand I’ve read five Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich in that time frame.  I’ve decided that I must be the odd man (woman) out, because to be honest, I’d rather have Joe Morelli than Christian Grey.  At least so far.  I don’t usually have a hard time getting into books, but I’m struggling to finish Fifty Shades – it’s kind of like a relationship – if you have to force it, it’s probably not worth it.  I’m sure Mr. Grey has a different opinion.

Jason O’Mara has been cast to play Joe Morelli in the movie adaptation of One for the Money, and Matt Bomer is just how I picture Christian Grey.  Although the movie rights for Fifty Shades of Grey have been purchased, no one has been cast as Christian Grey as of yet.

Speaking of Stephanie Plum, I love the cast for this movie.  It probably wouldn’t matter so much to someone who hasn’t read the book/series, but to me these people are so close to what I imagined them to be in my mind while reading the books that I can hardly wait to go see it.  Stephanie is being played by Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara as Morelli, Daniel Sunjata as Ranger, Sherri Shepard as Lula, Debra Monk as Mrs. Plum, and Debbie Reynolds as Grandma Mazur.

These books are so funny that more often that not I wake the hubby while I’m reading them in bed at night because my laughter shakes him awake.  Here’s an excerpt from the beginning of book five, High Five.

“My mother was at the door when I pulled to the curb.  My grandmother Mazur stood elbow to elbow with my mother.  They were short slim women with facial features that suggested Mongol ancestors…probably in the form of crazed marauders.

‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ my mother said, eyeing me as I got out of the car and walked toward her.  ‘What are those shoes?  They look like work boots.’

‘Betty Szajak and Emma Getz and me went to that male dancer place last week,’ Grandma said, ‘and they had some men parading around, looking like construction workers, wearing boots just like those.  Then next thing you knew they ripped their clothes off and all they had left was those boots and these little silky black baggie things that their ding-dongs jiggled around in.’ 

My mother pressed her lips together and made the sign of the cross.  ‘You didn’t tell me about this,’ she said to my grandmother.

‘Guess it slipped my mind.  Betty and Emma and me were going to bingo at the church, but it turned out there wasn’t any bingo on account of the Knights of Columbus was holding some to-do there.  So we decided to check out the men at that new club downtown.’  Grandma gave me an elbow.  ‘I put a fiver right in one of those baggies!’

*&##^%*!’, my father said, rattling his paper in the living room.

Grandma Mazur came to live with my parents several years ago when my grandpa Mazur went to the big poker game in the sky.  My mother accepts this as a daughter’s obligation.  My father has taken to reading Guns & Ammo.”

More hilarity ensues later in this book when Grandma Mazur tries out Stephanie’s stun gun at dinner, and knocks Mr. Plum out.

For those of you not familiar with Stephanie Plum and her family, she was laid off from her position as a lingerie buyer at a local department store,  and blackmails her cousin Vinnie into giving her a job.  Vinnie is a bail bondsman, and Stephanie is now a bounty hunter, for which she is sorely unprepared.  Murphy’s law was written for Stephanie – if something can go wrong, more than likely it will go wrong for Stephanie.  Her first assignment is to track down a local detective who turns out to be Joe Morelli whom she has known since childhood.  She has a love-hate relationship with Morelli – he was her first, and afterwards she ran over him with her dad’s Buick because he was a player, not a relationship guy.  In her quest to capture Morelli and collect her fee, she absconds with his Jeep, which then gets blown up.  In later adventures she blows up half of the local funeral home, gets shot at, and makes friends with a “ho” named Lulu.  After a really bad guy leaves Lulu cut and beaten on Stephanie’s fire escape, Lulu changes careers and becomes the file clerk for Vinni’s office, and a companion for Stephanie on her bounty hunts.  As you can see from the excerpt above, Stephanie’s family is a hoot, and whenever Stephanie spends too much time with them she gets an eye twitch.  (Which many of us can empathize with.)  Stephanie says things like, “I’m not one of those people who find their stride.  My body was not designed to run.  My body was designed to sit in an expensive car and drive.”  She rationalizes pizza and donuts, wears too much makeup and big hair, paired with spandex shorts and a sports jersey.  She always gets herself into scrapes and her cars get blown up, towed, wrecked or die.  If you want a good laugh and an entertaining read, start with One for the Money and go from there.

These books, along with the Miss Julia series by Ann B. Ross, are some of the funniest books I’ve ever read!

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Filed under fiction books, Humor, made into movie, reading